JADE PAINTS MY WORLD RED

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Well its time to reminisce already.

Guess what?
I'm married today!
To my new Honda Civic 1.8 i-Vtec.
She came like a beauty and she stunned me for life.
Just like my gorgeous looking Deep Red PSP2000 Slim.
The 2 big things in my life!
Stay true forever to them till I die.
3rd big thing?
Well its you babe!
You meaning you, yes you, don't guess and look startled.
Its you babe, you played the rhapsodies in my life.

I still remembered my post quite long ago
At that point of time she just started her new path in life.

I don't know when was it, I just wondered when did it.
I've fallen for you so easily, so fast i sunk deep into your love trap.
"Love is nothing without your affection."
"Affection is nothing without my devotion."
I am truly devoted to the tiniest bits of your every love, just that it was not fully expressed into actions and words.
You made me the happiest man in the world, when you accepted me as I am.
ILLIE was my name that you descend to me, because Willie wasn't just that catchy.
You gave me words of encouragement and enthusiasm, those words sparked my every single available feelings of cheerfulness.
You revived me from the world that I am in, you became the world I would die to live in.
You gave me the motivation to do my work, to pursue a better course of life, a life that is capable of providing for you.
You made me want to work hard, sacrificing is nothing any longer to someone as selfish as me.
You made me love you more than I love myself, no one has made me think twice about self-centred thoughts.
You showed me that age, status and education doesn't matter in any aspects, although our age difference would invite gossips and ridiculation, you know our feelings are mutual.
I have pictures of you, all over in my head, on displays of my gaming consoles, background of every single computer that I have laid my hands on.
You made me rethink of my goal in life, its no longer to be self-sufficient, but to be able to make you happy for the rest of my life.
We were so close to being together, till that one fateful week that changed everything.
I had my final year project to finish up, 24/7 always thinking about you, often feeling like abandoning my work just to meet up with you to see that you are well, to see your smile.
I wished I was not that cold, I thought that you are devoted to me just like I am, I believed because you told me so.
I didn't expect, on the day before Chinese New Year, you would fall in love with another man. Leaving me helplessly waiting and pending the arrival of Valentine's Day. I wanted to do so many things with you, things that I believe, you would too.
I would stare at my psp, having goosebumps of pain and uncomfort, knowing that you, Clara, no longer the girl I know anymore.
I cried out loud yesterday at the living room, my parents thought I was crazy, that I would be so heartbroken over a girl whom they considered still a small and naive kid. But I believe you all the same, I know you are a wise and mature young lady. Which I love so much about you.
We could have been together by now, if I acknowledged it in time. Now I regret it so much, its becoming the 1st biggest regret of my life of 20 years and counting. I can't let go, I don't want to let go.
Upon knowing all these, I wished I was hardworking at some point of time. I know its not too late, Clara you know it as well, I have too much room to improve, just that I didn't take a step into it.
Now, I have, ILLIE today is changing for the greater good, I would work my ass off for you, get a driving license just to fetch you around. Get a job just to buy things for you, to tell you I'm not a lazy pauper anymore, I've grown up, with a meaning in life to work for. That is you, my living source of meaning for life. For you I would work my ass off, to be more than self-sufficient, to be more than just a normal working class.

I'm left with nothing, which means I can start from anything. I lost parts of my interest in dance because of so much negligence in NRA. I have no friends because I placed all my hopes on the wrong course of life. So now I restart, from the scratch again, to be a better person, in any aspects of my life I want to target for. My new year resolution is simple, I don't want to worry about things anymore, I want to make them all come true.

Clara, I'll meet you again soon. I'll be in my car with a bed of roses on the back seat, awaiting you at your school, We'll head off to the beach at sunset to enjoy french cuisine on the beach with portable tables and chairs furnished with exquisite fabrics and topped off with a candlelit. And we'll watch the sunset together, with the enjoyment of our food and wine, with the perfect lady sitting opposite of me, gradually and slowly tasting the food while embracing the warmth and colour of the sunset.

I'll see you again, babe..

Well look at the last part, I have a car now.
Just that I need a license (hopefully by 02.09.08 I will drive!)
and a bed of roses at the back seat (be surprised by the adaptibility of new HC)
:)
And of course, the perfect girl for the perfect idea from a..
not so perfect guy.
:)
Well sleep more and it will come true!
Thats what it is right?
DREAMS.
WELL THIS IS GOING TO COME TRUE I KNOW IT.

PS: I originally named that old post: Sweets for my Sweet Rhapsody.

RED.

posted @ 10:12 AM |