JADE PAINTS MY WORLD RED

Saturday, November 1, 2008

All the things I've been working hard for, all my time and efforts.
All gone within a week.
Clinched a deal and yet it was refused.
Formed a group and yet it was dissolved.
Where's the solid resolve?

It was a bad idea for me to be leader, why did I take it?
"Aim to try to be the best, but never the best" - Fredy.

Now I understand, being good is not the only factor.
You have to play by the way others play, not your own way.
Everyone's leaning on each other, trying hard to keep themselves alive.
One day they can come and say nice things to you, the next day they turn their backs.
They look upon you like you're great, the next thing you know they're cursing and swearing back at you.
Work hard, what's the meaning of working hard?
Dance hard, what's the meaning of dancing hard?
I've noticed a problem in me that last for a very long time.
It doesn't stop, and I always wonder, why does everyone do the same thing, and not me?

Social ties, thats what I lack.
I dance myself into overdosage.
Chinese they call it Zhou Huo Ru Muo.
Pretty true, I don't really care about others, I just want to dance.
Which makes me a pretty darn bad dancer to dance with.
Because I train harder and I full out more, expecting everyone to give in the same.
But the problem is, who has the same capability or rather should I say, who wants to get there high up?
Everyone's in their comfort zone, unwilling to push out of the boundary.

Maybe its the way everyone's brought up in.
A NRA dancer is always competitive and ever-improving.
Everyone's really improving and taking over each other.
I was brought up that way, competitive, I CAN DO IT spirit.
But looking over at my recent hideaway for dance, everything's going at a slow pace.
Relaxed and chit-chats.
I'm an alien dancer in a strange area.
No longer the Do-It-All and Keep-Improving area.
Its the Let's-Chill-Out and Dance-For-Dance area.
I wonder what dance is like now?
Is it really a last minute doable thing?
I see Daniel meets Locker AD feat. Spiderpig getting champion.
And they don't really seem to work freaking hard for it.
I see GUC in their first competition, everyone worked their ass (sort of) off and gained nothing.
GUC is going down for sure, I'm already out of it.
Its a bad name I wonder why everyone agrees with that name.
I have no ideas for names of groups, it was a random thought and tada!
My time is ending soon, army is calling for me.
I don't have a fix dance style, everyone's pushing me around.
Funkstyle pushing me away, not really any hip hop friends either.
I wonder where can I still dance at, I have HATE TAGS coming from Republic Polytechnic.
How cool is that, someone used RP's internet to send HATE TAGS to my tagboard.
No place to dance already, I'm getting old.
I'm getting tired of dancing, my routine since NRA is fading away.
Everyone's having a different way of doing things, so alienated to me.
Tried to turn down the leadership when GUC started, keep pushing.
Then now it falls, and everyone blames me.
Now I know why they say the Leader is either they hate or they love.

Come to think about it, I ain't so good anymore aren't I.
Just a dancer who got cheated out of everything from something that he loves.
And he's slowly watching it fade away when all the friends start turning against him.
I told you all I am not leader material.
Now you know why, so why hate me for?
I'm just doing what's good for the team, I'm also giving out my best for it.
So why the attitude against me?
All push everything to me, and when it crumbles, everyone just runs and form up another group.
So who is the last person to gather the pieces?
So who am I suppose to seek help from?
Darren? Daniel? Matthew? Aloy? Suling? Jann? Nick? Seow Ting? Shawn?
Please think about it, it's easy to set up a group of course it is.
But when it falls, its hard to recover.
Those who left earlier, wise move you know what is coming.
Something I predicted long ago but I held on cause I believed in those who stayed.
Those who left and crush the group, tell me where am I and who I am suppose to dance at and with now?
Trying hard to outcast me so fast already?

RED.

posted @ 2:01 PM |