JADE PAINTS MY WORLD RED

Friday, December 5, 2008

sorry guys I'm leaving this blog down and inactive.
Revived another new blog because my life is taking a turn :)
I'm going army already, there's nothing left for me to look at.
So I guess my journey for this blog ends here.
See ya all around someday.

http://red-penitence.blogspot.com

:)

posted @ 2:04 PM |

Saturday, November 1, 2008

All the things I've been working hard for, all my time and efforts.
All gone within a week.
Clinched a deal and yet it was refused.
Formed a group and yet it was dissolved.
Where's the solid resolve?

It was a bad idea for me to be leader, why did I take it?
"Aim to try to be the best, but never the best" - Fredy.

Now I understand, being good is not the only factor.
You have to play by the way others play, not your own way.
Everyone's leaning on each other, trying hard to keep themselves alive.
One day they can come and say nice things to you, the next day they turn their backs.
They look upon you like you're great, the next thing you know they're cursing and swearing back at you.
Work hard, what's the meaning of working hard?
Dance hard, what's the meaning of dancing hard?
I've noticed a problem in me that last for a very long time.
It doesn't stop, and I always wonder, why does everyone do the same thing, and not me?

Social ties, thats what I lack.
I dance myself into overdosage.
Chinese they call it Zhou Huo Ru Muo.
Pretty true, I don't really care about others, I just want to dance.
Which makes me a pretty darn bad dancer to dance with.
Because I train harder and I full out more, expecting everyone to give in the same.
But the problem is, who has the same capability or rather should I say, who wants to get there high up?
Everyone's in their comfort zone, unwilling to push out of the boundary.

Maybe its the way everyone's brought up in.
A NRA dancer is always competitive and ever-improving.
Everyone's really improving and taking over each other.
I was brought up that way, competitive, I CAN DO IT spirit.
But looking over at my recent hideaway for dance, everything's going at a slow pace.
Relaxed and chit-chats.
I'm an alien dancer in a strange area.
No longer the Do-It-All and Keep-Improving area.
Its the Let's-Chill-Out and Dance-For-Dance area.
I wonder what dance is like now?
Is it really a last minute doable thing?
I see Daniel meets Locker AD feat. Spiderpig getting champion.
And they don't really seem to work freaking hard for it.
I see GUC in their first competition, everyone worked their ass (sort of) off and gained nothing.
GUC is going down for sure, I'm already out of it.
Its a bad name I wonder why everyone agrees with that name.
I have no ideas for names of groups, it was a random thought and tada!
My time is ending soon, army is calling for me.
I don't have a fix dance style, everyone's pushing me around.
Funkstyle pushing me away, not really any hip hop friends either.
I wonder where can I still dance at, I have HATE TAGS coming from Republic Polytechnic.
How cool is that, someone used RP's internet to send HATE TAGS to my tagboard.
No place to dance already, I'm getting old.
I'm getting tired of dancing, my routine since NRA is fading away.
Everyone's having a different way of doing things, so alienated to me.
Tried to turn down the leadership when GUC started, keep pushing.
Then now it falls, and everyone blames me.
Now I know why they say the Leader is either they hate or they love.

Come to think about it, I ain't so good anymore aren't I.
Just a dancer who got cheated out of everything from something that he loves.
And he's slowly watching it fade away when all the friends start turning against him.
I told you all I am not leader material.
Now you know why, so why hate me for?
I'm just doing what's good for the team, I'm also giving out my best for it.
So why the attitude against me?
All push everything to me, and when it crumbles, everyone just runs and form up another group.
So who is the last person to gather the pieces?
So who am I suppose to seek help from?
Darren? Daniel? Matthew? Aloy? Suling? Jann? Nick? Seow Ting? Shawn?
Please think about it, it's easy to set up a group of course it is.
But when it falls, its hard to recover.
Those who left earlier, wise move you know what is coming.
Something I predicted long ago but I held on cause I believed in those who stayed.
Those who left and crush the group, tell me where am I and who I am suppose to dance at and with now?
Trying hard to outcast me so fast already?

RED.

posted @ 2:01 PM |

Monday, October 20, 2008

I came to realise how far I am away from dance.
How much deprovement I have since when I was still in NRA.
Maybe going to work and stopping my classes with ann was a bad idea afterall.
I feel like the sessions are worthless, and worse come to worse, i don't feel anything about it anymore.
Its like, are we training? or are we just dancing around?
Are we just standing around looking at other people?
Are we just finding out friends and talk to them about the recent things?
Are we just gonna sit down play game or play with our mates?
What session is that already? A chat-chit get together session?
Its only 2 days a week, I had 7 days of training last time.
So much deprovement, I don't even feel like doing anything.
Last time six pack become one pack, muscles all become fats.
Turn also cannot turn properly, constantly using back the same moves over and over again.
I guess it wasn't such a good environment for me after all.
Headhunt more for me please.
I'm not without faith or motivation, but until now?
I'm just losing them faster than anyone else.

RED.

posted @ 12:57 PM |

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I'm feeling spacy today and thus I got alot of time to think.
First major problem that I find with the current tertiary students who are dancing.
They have too many things to do for themselves, dance to them is nothing but pure interest.
I've seen people wear big clothes and say its for them to dance with comfort.
But I still see them try to wear as hippy as they can when they go out.
Ignoring the facts that they aren't dancing at all.
I'm one of them, but oddly enough I always find myself dancing wherever I go.
I don't see that in other people.
Of course there are people like me whom I know, Seng Kiat and Freddy.
All have the same habit but they seem to be much more better than me overall.
Ha, maybe I hang out with too many average dancers, my standards also dropping already.
My brother once again asked if I found a job and I was reluctant to reply.
Maybe I should REALLY consider giving up dance and go get a job.
Anyways I'm heading into army soon, who the hell will remember me anyways?
G.U.C won't stand the day I said it won't, because of the bond of people in it.
Everyone's got a different aim and they are having OTOT with it.
No one wants to improve because they don't have the determination to do so.
So once again why are you dancing for? Interest? Hobby?
Even people who dance as interest works hard for it.
I've never really seen lazy dancers, really.
But I've seen a few nowadays, sadly, those open mouth say but never do.
Disappointment, maybe I don't do anything, then I see what they can do.
The group survived because of me, but it will not keep surviving because I'm around.
I hate the facts that the group is relying on me for steps, and everything else.
And when there is no dance, they just fuck around and wait.
Oh come on, someone here with money wants to commercialise us.
And everyone's lying around waiting for what? Gold to drop from sky?
I don't get it, its a motivation to work harder, but the team is getting to relaxed about everything.
They throw their commitment around, skipping sessions for something else.
Tell me, they are paying you money to do it.
What has anything else pay you for?
Time? Think about it, how many sessions we have a week, 2? 5 days wtf are you doing that you have to skip sessions to do OTHER THINGS somemore.
Priorities and commitments, I question it over and over again.
If its that important, please just go back and study and forget about everything.
When we're getting successful, everyone breaks apart.
Use your brains people, you set up a name and people wanna invite you for commercialised items you all slack off and wait for what thing?

Go think, I'm lazy already.
Since you all wanna laze, fine I'll laze with ALL of you.
Then we see November 2nd what you all wanna do.
And keep rejecting offers, go ahead.
In just a week of two, you see our group will get replaced EASILY.
At that point of time, don't fucking whine why this happens.
Go ask your conscience if you all did anything when the opportunity comes.
Go read up on Opportunity Cost if you're a noob fuck.

P.S: Sorry sorry sorry to jade for vulgarities. But the rest? _|_

RED.

posted @ 4:36 AM |

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ok it's about time to get serious, watch a couple of videos already.
Like ya just a couple of them.
Watched singapore's ones and some overseas'.
I don't really feel inspired by local dance but more of the other end of the world.
What I get is motivation from singapore, their dance industry for those who tend to join competitions, I have this sub-conscious feeling I just need a proper team to dominate the market.

I'm going to freaking work, and start dancing through the night.
I'm going to re-train my NRA basics again with gratitude to the Greatest Ann.
Keep training my foundation, achieve a full double turn on both legs inwards and outwards.
Train my hitting and dime-stop, whack more.
Achieve a less plump torso :S
Eat more, dance even MORE.
Meet up with edwin mouse they all. Good brothers for life man.
Gather more music, more songs, more practises, more training.
Mould the foundation of GUC regulars, its time you all unlock your potential.
Learn driving, VROOM VROOM, 31st December'08 driving test lets go lets go!
Take down Champion of Suntec Dance next time when I'm ready. _-_
Actually I'm quite ready.. LOL
Ready? Let's GO.

RED

posted @ 2:30 PM |

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Let's get it down straight shall we?
First of all, I've been training with the group once awhile.
And jadey'ing as usual.

About the competition, I suppose everyone in the team has something to say.
And that something is generally the same thing I want to talk about, before and after the competition.

Big Flaws about the competition:
1. 10 out of 11 teams are malays (gays included, trust me) GUC's the only chinese.
2. 1 Malay dancer judge, 1 Malay don't know who is he judge, 1 Chinese 40+ year old.
3. 50% Judge (Thats bad.), 50% vote (Thats even worse.)
4. Overall % of chinese in the whole competition (crew, dancers) = less than 10%.

Nevermind, I know how to win already. I have a new perspective to look forward to.
Just need everyone to train hard, harder than any other times.
Success is coming I know it, I just have to find the correct rhythm and style to portray it out.

RED.

posted @ 12:18 PM |

Sunday, September 7, 2008

saw this from jadey's blog, thought it rather fits anyone now.
saw this from sl's blog, thought it rather fits me now.
"Harsh words hurts feelings
but silence breaks hearts"

Barely enough sleep for two days.
The previous day was terrible enough.
Had a tough night, again I ask for information.
Out of curiousity, it killed my sleep.
And I was excited (about the game i downloaded) and HEARTBROKEN (about what I asked).
Finally tired myself out at 9am, and POOF! check it out I woke up at 12.30pm.
Couldn't sleep anymore, play! keep playing!
How I wish I can play myself to death.
According to that, would the police arrest my computer instead of me?
Cause the computer killed me, not I suicide.
It would be interesting if you see the cops trying to figure out which parts of the computer they wanna handcuff.
The mouse and keyboard?
Then they have to bring it to the court for trial.
And it would be a silent trial which just the prosecutor and the judge talking.
And the computer would just have "silent pleads"
And there will be a cell for Computers.
Life-term jail with 24 canes.
LOL, imagine the guards wooping the computer's ASS and the parts start falling off.
Opps I sidetrack!

It seems every now and then, Jadey would post an emo post.
She's slowly changing, no longer like what I knew her to be.
Someone who can take my jokes, and not get angry.
She didn't, not anymore.
Maybe I joked too much.
She's always happy, till she met me.
So am I the devil in disguise now.
I wonder how she will think if she sees this.
I really wonder.
It just seems too nice on the exterior.
But on the inside, we're always picking out on each other on small things.
Maybe I should try getting my ass whooped by oral statements.
Or in layman terms, jump into her shoes and see the socks.
Ankle socks are cool, but then again everyone grew up wearing socks that covers part of your shin. :)

RED.

posted @ 10:42 AM |